Aliens Exist
by Whalefox
Summary: Based off of a headcanon I had sent someone on Tumblr that someone else wanted a fic of. Basically it is Oikawa's and Iwaizumi's first ever fight as kids. Rated T for language.


**Disclaimer: Haikyu! is owned by Furudate Haruichi as is Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime.**

**A.N.'s: **So, I submitted this headcanon to a pretty popular Daisuga shipper about these two and someone wanted a fic about it and considering I'm not that bad at writing and it was my headcanon, I wanted to try writing these two a shot. Plus, it was really fun. Especially Oikawa. Between him, Ino, Shino and Ymir, I think I enjoy writing characters as buttheads. Welp, I hope you enjoy. As for my regular followers, Haikyu! is a great manga and is an anime now, so if you don't read/watch it, I recommend it. It's really good.

**Aliens Exist**

_He couldn't believe it. Those bright lights shining up in the night sky right next to the moon. Yellow, green, blue and one big flashing red light. They were here. He couldn't believe he was seeing the aliens from the movies and books he loved coming to his home planet. Would they speak Japanese like him? Or some weird alien language?_

"Tooru-kun, time for bed. Come on in and get ready!" Oikawa looked back at his mom and ran inside his house and took one final look at the light by the moon.

"Mom, it's them! They're on their way here!"

Oikawa's mom looked up to where her son was looking and smiled. "Well, how about that? Maybe they'll be here by morning and you'll see them before school. You could brag to Iwa-kun about being the first to know about them then."

Oikawa's face broke into a grin. Oh, he was going to enjoy that. Iwa-chan and his stupid dinosaurs. Everyone knows aliens are way cooler than stupid dinosaurs. And tomorrow he would have to admit it to him. It was going to be awesome.

* * *

"Hey, Iwa-chan! Ready for school?"

The aliens might not have landed this morning, or they were being super-secretive about their arrival. But that wouldn't ruin his fun.

"I told you to stop calling me Iwa-chan. At least use -kun-. And why are you so happy this morning?"

"I'm always this happy, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi looked at his best friend. That type of smile was certainly not natural. Oh well, it wasn't his concern.

"Let's go. My mom said she'd drive us to school today." Oikawa hopped up to Iwaizumi's mom's car.

"SHOTGUN!"

Iwaizumi sighed. It was going to be one of those days.

* * *

"Okay, everyone. Lunch-time."

As the kids got in line for their milk and lunch. Oikawa snuck up behind Iwaizumi and poked him in the back. Iwaizumi tried ignoring him, but at the fifth poke he had to deal with him. "What is it, Oikawa?"

"I saw something super-ultra cool last night."

"No one says that."

"Yes they do," Oikawa retorted quickly, already regretting divulging this super secret information to such a stick-in-the-mud, even if he was his best/only friend. "And, anyways... I SAW AN ALIEN SPACESHIP LAST NIGHT! IT WAS RIGHT NEXT TO THE MOON! AND THERE WHERE ALL THESE LIGHTS AND THEY WERE ALL BLINKING AND FLASHING! AND MY MOM SAID THAT THEY PROBABLY LANDED THIS MORNING IN SECRET TO AVOID GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS LIKE E.T.!"

Iwaizumi looked at his excited friend. He didn't want to do this but he eventually had to divulge what his older cousin had told him at the last family gathering and his mom had brought up Oikawa's strange hobby.

"Aliens don't exist, Oikawa."

The happiness drained straight from Oikawa's face only to be replaced by pure anger. He clenched his fists and before he could stop the words from coming out, he shouted at Iwaizumi.

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE IWA-CHAN! YOU DINO SHIT EATER!"

All the color drained from Iwaizumi's face only to be quicly replaced by a very angry red.

"HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN THE LIGHTS I SAW LAST NIGHT!? IT WAS ALIENS!"

"IT WAS PROBABLY AN AIRPLANE YOU ALIEN DUMBASS!"

"NUH UHHHH YOU DINO LOVER!"

"YEAH HUHH YOU ALIEN NERD!"

"DINO SHIT EATER!"

"ALIEN DUMBASS!"

The teachers and the cafeteria workers were running as soon as they heard the first obscenity but by the time they reached the two students they were already a rolling ball of punches and headbutts. Finally, their classroom teacher and another managed to pry the two off of each other. Oikawa had a busted nose and lip. Iwaizumi had a black eye and gash on his chin. They were both covered in bruises all over.

The teachers dragged the two to the principal's office.

* * *

"Do you understand why you two are being punished?"

The two young boys just kept looking down.

"Do you know why you both are getting detention for the rest of the week?"

They did not avert their gaze from the floor.

"Do you know why we called your parents?"

That got the boys' attention.

"What!?" both boys exclaimed in unison.

The principal stood up. "Don't worry. We're letting you tell them what happened."

The two boys blanched at what they were just told. This couldn't end well.

* * *

"So why are we here boys?"

They were surrounded by their principal, teacher and both sets of parents. They were definitely getting a time-out for this. So of course they did the only logical thing they could think of. They shrugged.

"Hajime. Why are we here?"

Iwaizumi had to look up at his dad. He wasn't getting out of this alive and seeing as how it was Oikawa's fault, he was taking him down with him.

"Oikawa called me names and then hit me because I didn't believe him about aliens landing on Earth this morning, sir." Iwaizumi kept eye-contact with his father until he heard a loud humph of protest from his neighboring friend. Scratch that, ex-friend. He had given him a black eye and busted chin. He would never be friends with that buttface again.

Oikawa's dad looked down at his son. "Do you have something to say then, Tooru?"

Oikawa nodded vehemently. "I was just telling him about the spaceship I saw last night and he called me a liar."

Iwaizumi scoffed.

"What was that for Iwa-chan!?"

"You know what it was for Oikawa! Or do you want me to tell them what you called me!?"

"Then I'll tell them what you called me!"

"What I called you wasn't nearly as bad as what you called me Buttface-kawa!"

"Yeah, but my parents aren't as strict as yours, Iwa-butt!"

The two continued to insult each other until their mothers placed their hands on their children's shoulders. They knew better then to keep speaking at that moment.

Mrs. Iwaizumi looked over at the boys' teacher.

"So, you were at the fight correct?"

"Yes, I was, Mrs. Iwaizumi."

"What did they call each other if you don't mind. I don't think they're going to tell us and then we would have to assume the worst. And I really don't want to ship my poor Hajime-kun off to military school. Wouldn't you agree, Mrs. Oikawa?"

"But of course."

The teacher sighed. "The most common insults were, and I apologize for the language, -dino shit eater- and -alien dumbass- amongst others."

The parents looked at each other. They didn't even have to ask who said which insult. They all walked outside of the office.

* * *

The two boys were sitting next to each other in their chairs, absolutely terrified. Oikawa looked over at his ex-best friend. He wanted to punch him in the face again. Calling him a liar, saying aliens don't exist (he never once had told him that his stupid dinosaurs didn't exist), and now selling him out to their parents and principal. He was done with him.

The minutes kept ticking by. The boys got more antsy and irritated as the time went on by. They just wanted their punishment and to be away from the jerk that they were sitting next to. Finally, after what felt like hours, their parents came back inside. And they were all smiling. This would not end well for them.

Iwaizumi's dad spoke up first, "Well, Hajime, you can thank Oikawa's parents for me not shipping you off to military school for both cursing and fighting on the same day."

The room was quiet for a second before Mr. Iwaizumi spoke up again.

"Well, Hajime..."

Iwaizumi flinched and shot upright. "Sorry, sir. Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Oikawa."

"As for you, Tooru. You can thank them that you won't be gargling soap for the rest of the week."

Oikawa, after watching Iwaizumi with his dad, flashed a bright smile at Mr. and Mrs. Iwaizumi. "Thank you very much, Mr. and Mrs. Iwaizumi."

"Don't be cheeky, Tooru."

"But, I wasn't da-"

"I know you better than that Tooru. Now for your punishment."

Mrs. Oikawa spoke up next, "You are both receiving detention for the next week and a half. Also we called your volleyball coach. None of that for a month."

"BUT-" the boys began before Iwaizumi's mom interrupted them.

"Also as you both seem to need to learn how to get along, we are giving your books and movies to the other one and making you read and watch them at least once a night for two months. So no aliens for you Tooru-kun, and no dinosaurs for you Hajime-kun."

The boys couldn't believe it. A week and a half of detention, no volleyball and their favorite things are to be taken away. This wasn't happening.

Their dads both looked at them at the same time and told them the last thing that they had on their mind. "Also you are grounded from each other for the two months as well. So no seeing or talking to each other for the next two months. If you could help with that sensei?"

"No problem. It would do them well to get to know other kids in the class."

The two boys huffed. At least something good would come out of this. Not seeing the other's face was too good to be true.

* * *

_Two months later_

"IWA-CHAN! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

"Liar. And either way I didn't miss you."

"Oh yes you did. You know it."

"Nope, not a bit."

"Liar."

Iwaizumi walked over to Oikawa's mom's car. Just because he had actually started missing hanging out with that stupid alien nerd after their third day of punishment didn't mean he was going to let him know it.

"I just want my dinosaur stuff back. Especially my jacket. My house is too cold for anything else."

"Only when I get my alien badge back. It officiates me as an actual space sheriff."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does."

"Nuh uhh!"

"Yuh uhh!"

Oikawa's mom looked back at the two boys and smiled.

"Didn't you boys learn your lesson?"

That got them to clamp up. They both glanced at each other with a look that said, "We'll settle this later on the playground buttface."


End file.
